My favorite Cleverly Inventive Metaphors

• Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two other sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master.
• The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn’t.
• Her hair glistened in the rain like nose hair after a sneeze.
• He was as tall as a six-foot-three-inch tree.
• The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry them in hot grease.
• Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left York at 6:36 p.m. travelling at 55 mph, the other from Peterborough at 4:19p.m. at a speed of 35 mph.
• The thunder was ominous sounding, much like the sound of a thin sheet of metal being shaken backstage during the storm scene in a play.
• The plan was simple, like my mate Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan just might work.
• The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not eating for while.
• She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.
• The ballerina rose gracefully en pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a lamppost.
• The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated because of his wife’s infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge at a formerly surcharge-free cashpoint.
• It was a working class tradition, like fathers chasing kids around with their power tools.
• She grew on him like she was a colony of E. coli and he was room-temperature British beef.
• It hurt the way your tongue hurts after you accidentally staple it to the wall.